Ways to Spend Time with Family During the Winter Holidays

Understanding the Role of Shivah in Jewish Mourning Practices

A Conversation with Rabbi Brian Schuldenfrei

Planning a funeral involves more than choosing a casket or a service. Numerous legal concerns come into play, many of which people aren’t aware of until they are faced with the situation. It’s completely normal not to know what these legal requirements are, but understanding them in advance can help ensure everything is handled smoothly. This guide will walk you through some of the most important legal considerations accompanying funeral planning. Is There a Will? Are There Preplanned Funeral Arrangements? A will often includes funding and plans for funeral services. If such a will exists, it’s important to determine how detailed it is regarding funeral expenses. Some individuals make prepaid arrangements covering caskets, burial fees, or cremation costs. Funeral homes will honor prearranged plans, though families may need to verify records, especially if arrangements were made in advance of need. Navigating the legal landscape of funeral planning takes time, and trying to handle everything under tight constraints can lead to rushed decisions. Planning ahead is the best way to avoid overspending, underspending, or making uninformed choices. Deciding ahead of time reduces financial strain and ensures the deceased’s wishes are honored. When preplanning isn’t possible, funeral homes will assist families in making legally sound arrangements in a short timeframe. Who Can Make Funeral Arrangements? Even when a person leaves a will specifying their funeral wishes, funeral homes must follow instructions from specific parties with the legal authority to make funeral and burial decisions. Those parties are specified by law and have authority in the following order:  A person may make his or her own pre-arrangements with the funeral home and cemetery of their choice. Agent in a power of attorney for health care Next of Kin: The closest legal relative, specified by law. Spouse, children, parents, siblings, etc. Conservator: A court-appointed individual can make pre-arrangements for the conservatee, but only has authority after the death if there are no blood relatives and no agent in a health care power of attorney. Choosing a clear decision-maker isn’t just necessary for the funeral home. This authorized arbiter helps families avoid disagreements over sensitive decisions during an already emotionally taxing time. How Will Funeral Expenses Be Covered? Prepaying funeral expenses is often the best way to pay for a funeral, as it allows payments to be spread out over time without interest. Some funeral homes partner with nonprofit organizations to provide financial assistance to families in need. Special hardship rates may also be available in cases involving the loss of a child. Exploring financial assistance options early can help ease the burden that comes with deciding how to pay for these arrangements. Life insurance policies may also cover funeral expenses, either through direct payments or assignments on funds. In an assignment on funds, the beneficiary directs a life insurance company to pay part of the policy directly to the funeral home. It is important to note that some mortuaries, including Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, do not accept assignment of funds, and funeral services sometimes take place before insurance payouts can be processed, which can complicate matters. Understanding how and when these funds are available is crucial. Which Legal Documents Are Needed? Several key documents may be required for funeral planning and handling affairs after death: Durable Power of Attorney/Advance Health Directive: Grants authority to make funeral and burial decisions. Trust Documents: apply when cemetery property has been placed in a trust. Will: May contain specific funeral directives. Military DD214 Form: Necessary for scheduling a burial in a national cemetery, obtaining a burial flag, and arranging additional military honors like a 21-gun salute. Which of these documents you need depends on your specific legal and personal circumstances. If you are not sure which documents you need to honor the wishes of your loved one, your Family Service Advisor may be able to assist you in identifying which you need. Notifying Relevant Organizations One of the most important steps after a death is notifying relevant organizations to secure documents like death certificates, military discharge papers, and other relevant documents. It’s crucial to obtain enough copies to send to agencies such as: The Social Security Administration (to halt benefits and apply for survivor benefits if applicable) Veterans Affairs (for burial flags and military honors) Life Insurance Providers (to process claims) Employers (should they require notification of the passing) Funeral directors can help assist in obtaining these documents efficiently, although it is up to survivors to distribute them. Are There Laws About the Disposal of Bodies? Laws regarding body disposition vary by state. In addition to respecting the deceased’s wishes as outlined in their will, legal regulations must be followed for cremation, burial, or other methods of body disposal. Some states require written authorization for cremation or detailed coordination for burials. Mortuaries and funeral homes must adhere to state-specific guidelines to ensure compliance. What Are the Legal Responsibilities of the Funeral Home? Funeral homes have legal obligations to provide transparency and fairness in their services. These include: Itemized Price Lists for services and products, ensuring families understand costs upfront. Cemetery Pricing to outline burial expenses. Statements of Purchased Items so families know exactly what they are paying for in advance or at the time of need. Federal and state laws require funeral homes to be upfront about costs, and families should always request a written statement before making any financial commitments. Looking Ahead Planning a funeral involves many legal considerations, and being prepared can make a difficult time more manageable and prevent unnecessary stress during a sensitive time. While funeral homes assist with these processes, having a clear legal plan in place is the best way to ensure a smooth and respectful farewell for your loved one. Whether you are in the beginning, middle, or end of your journey planning the funeral, it is best to call one of our advance planning advisors for education and information for the duration of the process. Don’t hesitate to reach out on our site or at 800.576.1994.

Preplanning your funeral is one of the most compassionate decisions you can make for yourself and your loved ones. While it may feel uncomfortable to consider, making arrangements in advance alleviates stress, reduces financial burdens, and ensures that your final wishes are honored. As you begin the process, we hope this guide helps you understand the benefits of preparing early for yourself and your family. Benefits of Preplanning Your Funeral for Family and Survivors While thinking about our own passing is difficult, it is important to remember that the loss of a loved one is an emotionally overwhelming experience. Planning a funeral in the midst of grief can add unnecessary stress. By planning in advance, your family doesn’t have to guess what you would have wanted. This prevents disagreements over burial or cremation choices, memorial services, and other significant decisions that go into creating your legacy. Making funeral prearrangements also prevents financial missteps. Without clear guidance, families may overspend or underspend, either feeling obligated to purchase extravagant options or struggling to make economical decisions that still honor their loved one. Perhaps most importantly, making arrangements in advance allows your family to focus on grieving. The burden of guessing your preferences and coordinating logistics can detract from the essential emotional process of mourning. Preplanning removes these uncertainties and allows your loved ones to focus on healing. Financial Benefits of Preplanning Your Funeral  Funeral costs can be significant, and preplanning provides financial relief in multiple ways. First, planning and paying in advance mitigates the financial strain on your loved ones. When major expenses are taken care of in advance, family members are only responsible for incidental costs, making the financial impact far more manageable. In addition, many funeral homes offer payment plans that allow you to spread the cost over time, preventing a sudden, overwhelming expense at the time of need. This is especially true because cemetery property, burial services, and cremation fees tend to increase over time as more spaces are taken. Prepaying ensures you are not subjected to rising costs due to inflation or limited availability. How Preplanning Helps Honor Your Final Wishes Planning your funeral in advance ensures that your final wishes are carried out exactly as you intended. The peace of mind that comes with knowing your arrangements are in place cannot be overstated. Securing burial sites and memorial spaces is one primary concern. Many people find comfort in knowing where they will be laid to rest and how their farewell will be conducted. Since highly sought-after spaces may become limited, preplanning ensures your preferred location is secured, preventing any last-minute complications. Many people who begin the preplanning process are pleasantly surprised by how therapeutic it can be to share your final wishes. It is also crucial to communicate your choices with your loved ones as executors of your will. Family members may have feelings or concerns about your preferences, and discussing them openly allows for adjustments or additional personal touches that make the arrangements even more meaningful. Many families find solace in enhancing or personalizing prearranged services to create a more meaningful tribute to their loved ones. Engaging in open discussions about funeral planning ensures that your wishes are not only honored but also cherished by those who hold you dear. Preplanning Your Funeral is an Act of Love Preplanning your funeral provides clarity, financial security, and emotional relief for both you and your family. By addressing these decisions in advance, you eliminate stress, prevent family disputes, and ensure that your final wishes are honored with dignity and care. While it may not be an easy topic to consider, taking control of these arrangements now is one of the most meaningful ways to support those you leave behind. Take the first step today. Our Advance Planning Advisors are ready to help you begin the preplanning process. To schedule an appointment, reach out through our site or call us at 800.576.1994.

Beyond creating financial security, Estate Planning can help ensure your wishes are honored and your loved ones are cared for, even after you’re gone. One of the most overlooked aspects of estate planning is how it impacts funeral preparations. A well-structured estate plan can provide clarity, prevent unnecessary legal struggles, and give your family peace of mind during an already difficult time. First Priority: Avoiding Probate Probate is a legal process designed to handle the affairs of a person’s estate after their passing. In California, the probate procedure can be time-consuming and costly, and delay distribution to loved ones, making it difficult to access funds which could be used for funeral preparations and other incidental costs. Even if your estate goes through the probate process, a will with a named executor ensures your affairs are handled according to your wishes. Distributing Assets: Who Inherits What? A crucial part of estate planning is ensuring your assets are fully accounted for and distributed according to your wishes. Consider the following:  What assets do you own? Savings, checking accounts, real estate, businesses? Who do you want to inherit your assets? Have you set them aside for a funeral? Who will manage your estate and be responsible for distributing it in accordance with your wishes? By having a clear, up-to-date will or trust, you ensure that your assets pass to the right people without unnecessary legal complications. A trust is particularly useful for maintaining privacy and expediting the distribution process. Caring for Loved Ones: Ensuring Their Well-being For those with children, estate planning takes on an even greater significance. Naming a guardian for your minor children ensures they are cared for by someone you trust. Additionally, you can outline when and how your children should receive their inheritance, preventing financial mismanagement and ensuring long-term security. Beyond financial concerns, estate planning minimizes conflicts between heirs. The absence of a clear plan can lead to disputes, causing unnecessary emotional and financial strain on family members. By making your wishes legally binding, you create a roadmap that prevents misunderstandings and disagreements. Final Wishes: Defining Your Legacy A healthcare directive is a critical component of estate planning. It provides guidance on your crucial healthcare preferences in the event you become incapacitated and may include how you want your remains to be handled (autopsy preferences, burial, cremation, donation, etc.). You also can appoint an agent of your choice, whether related or not, to carry out your wishes. In California, your health care agent also has the authority to direct the disposition of your remains, or to follow through with any funeral prearrangements you may have already made. Having these details documented takes the burden off your family, allowing them to focus on grieving rather than making difficult decisions. It also ensures that your final wishes are respected by preventing potential disagreements among loved ones. Estate Planning: A Gift to Your Family While we cannot offer legal advice, we hope this article helps you begin the crucial conversations now—whether with an estate planning attorney or with your family. Doing so is an important step towards providing clarity and peace of mind for all parties. With a well-thought-out plan in place, you can leave a legacy of organization, care, and consideration, allowing your loved ones to focus on what truly matters: honoring your memory and celebrating your life. Whether you’ve already planned your estate or are just beginning, our advance planning advisors are available for education and information for every step of your journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out on our site or at 800.576.1994.

How an Ethical Will Can Honor Your Legacy

Hillside Traditions: Notes to the Wall

Holiday Outings - Diane von Furstenberg: Woman Before Fashion

The holiday season is often seen as a time of celebration, joy and connection. However, for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one it can also be a time of deep heartache and painful reminders of those who are no longer there. The traditions unique to your family that once brought comfort may now feel overwhelming and difficult to face. If you’re struggling with grief this holiday season, please know that you are not alone. Grief is often a complex and uncertain journey, and the holidays can magnify uncomfortable or distressing emotions in ways that might make it difficult to explain to friends or family. Everyone grieves differently and your grief is unique to you. There is no wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline. Grief is not something to “fix” and it cannot be “cured.” The good news is that there are ways to care for yourself, find support and create space for healing, even in the throes of the holiday activities. While grief can feel incredibly isolating, please know that you don’t have to walk this path alone. How Grief Can Affect You During the Holidays Emotional Fatigue: Feelings such as sadness, anxiety, and anger may unexpectedly surface. You might find yourself struggling with mixed emotions, and torn between participating in festive activities and needing time alone to be quiet and reflect. Physical Fatigue: Grieving is a physical experience as well. It can be exhausting trying to manage your emotions, attending holiday events, or even walking into a room with your chin up can be incredibly draining. Your body needs time to recover, and it’s okay to honor yourself and rest. Guilt: For some people guilt can come up when you’re asked to attend an event that you don’t want to attend. You might feel like you’re letting friends or family down if you decide not to go, or are having trouble embracing the season. Please know that it is okay to be exactly where you are in your grief. If you say yes, and then change your mind, that’s okay too. This is how you feel for now, it is not how you will feel forever. Ways to Cope with Grief During the Holidays While there is no way to fix grief or erase the pain of loss, there are self-care and self-compassionate things you can do to help navigate your way through the more difficult times. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up for you without judging yourself. If you need to cry, cry. If you need time alone, please take it. The grieving process isn’t linear. Some days will feel heavier while others will feel lighter. It is okay to say no to things that feel like too much on any given day. Reach Out for Support: Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s a grief support group, calling a friend, seeing a therapist or grief coach, reaching out for support can help you to feel seen, heard and understood. Talking about your grief helps to lighten the emotional load. Give Yourself Permission to Take a Step Back: It’s so important to prioritize your emotional well-being and take a step back when needed. Trust yourself. If you need to opt out of an event (even if you’ve already accepted the invitation), it is perfectly okay to change your mind and take a pass. Please do so without guilt. Again, trust yourself. Your emotional needs are your priority at this time. Practice Self-Care: There are many forms of self-care. Whether you take a walk or a warm bath, read a good book, call a close friend, lose yourself in a good movie or tv show, meditate, listen to music, or do yoga, the important thing is to find what works for you. When we’re in grief or mourning, self-care is essential to our well-being. Honor Your Love One’s Memory: When you feel like it’s the right time, try to find a way to honor your loved one. This can be by cooking a meal or dessert they loved and sharing it with others, share stories about them with others or even creating some kind of small ritual to honor them. The Holidays can be hard, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. By leaning on supportive practices and honoring your needs, you may find moments of peace, healing, and even relief. If you or or a loved one are going through grief, learn more about our monthly Grief Support Groups or contact us at (310) 641-0707 to speak to our compassionate staff about other resources.