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Hillside Traditions: Notes to the Wall
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Holiday Outings - Diane von Furstenberg: Woman Before Fashion
The holiday season is often seen as a time of celebration, joy and connection. However, for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one it can also be a time of deep heartache and painful reminders of those who are no longer there. The traditions unique to your family that once brought comfort may now feel overwhelming and difficult to face. If you’re struggling with grief this holiday season, please know that you are not alone. Grief is often a complex and uncertain journey, and the holidays can magnify uncomfortable or distressing emotions in ways that might make it difficult to explain to friends or family. Everyone grieves differently and your grief is unique to you. There is no wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline. Grief is not something to “fix” and it cannot be “cured.” The good news is that there are ways to care for yourself, find support and create space for healing, even in the throes of the holiday activities. While grief can feel incredibly isolating, please know that you don’t have to walk this path alone. How Grief Can Affect You During the Holidays Emotional Fatigue: Feelings such as sadness, anxiety, and anger may unexpectedly surface. You might find yourself struggling with mixed emotions, and torn between participating in festive activities and needing time alone to be quiet and reflect. Physical Fatigue: Grieving is a physical experience as well. It can be exhausting trying to manage your emotions, attending holiday events, or even walking into a room with your chin up can be incredibly draining. Your body needs time to recover, and it’s okay to honor yourself and rest. Guilt: For some people guilt can come up when you’re asked to attend an event that you don’t want to attend. You might feel like you’re letting friends or family down if you decide not to go, or are having trouble embracing the season. Please know that it is okay to be exactly where you are in your grief. If you say yes, and then change your mind, that’s okay too. This is how you feel for now, it is not how you will feel forever. Ways to Cope with Grief During the Holidays While there is no way to fix grief or erase the pain of loss, there are self-care and self-compassionate things you can do to help navigate your way through the more difficult times. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up for you without judging yourself. If you need to cry, cry. If you need time alone, please take it. The grieving process isn’t linear. Some days will feel heavier while others will feel lighter. It is okay to say no to things that feel like too much on any given day. Reach Out for Support: Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s a grief support group, calling a friend, seeing a therapist or grief coach, reaching out for support can help you to feel seen, heard and understood. Talking about your grief helps to lighten the emotional load. Give Yourself Permission to Take a Step Back: It’s so important to prioritize your emotional well-being and take a step back when needed. Trust yourself. If you need to opt out of an event (even if you’ve already accepted the invitation), it is perfectly okay to change your mind and take a pass. Please do so without guilt. Again, trust yourself. Your emotional needs are your priority at this time. Practice Self-Care: There are many forms of self-care. Whether you take a walk or a warm bath, read a good book, call a close friend, lose yourself in a good movie or tv show, meditate, listen to music, or do yoga, the important thing is to find what works for you. When we’re in grief or mourning, self-care is essential to our well-being. Honor Your Love One’s Memory: When you feel like it’s the right time, try to find a way to honor your loved one. This can be by cooking a meal or dessert they loved and sharing it with others, share stories about them with others or even creating some kind of small ritual to honor them. The Holidays can be hard, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. By leaning on supportive practices and honoring your needs, you may find moments of peace, healing, and even relief. If you or or a loved one are going through grief, learn more about our monthly Grief Support Groups or contact us at (310) 641-0707 to speak to our compassionate staff about other resources.
Grief can feel isolating and overwhelming in times of loss. The Jewish tradition offers unique comfort through its perspective on death and mourning. These practices are designed not only to honor the deceased but also to support the living as they navigate the emotional and spiritual journey of grief. The Jewish perspective provides structure and solace, guiding individuals through one of life’s most difficult experiences with compassion and respect. Grief as a Form of Connection Judaism teaches that honoring, respecting, and caring for the deceased is one of the greatest mitzvot (commandments) a person can perform. This deeply held belief underscores the idea that every individual deserves dignity in both life and death. Caring for the dead —through rituals such as preparing the body for burial, participating in the funeral, and observing mourning customs—is seen as an act of great spiritual significance. By fulfilling this mitzvah, Jewish people demonstrate profound respect for the sanctity of life and the cycle of death. It is a way of showing gratitude for the deceased’s life while helping those who remain to cope with the loss. This sense of sacred duty is meant to comfort the mourners and the community by fostering a connection to the deceased even after their passing. Grief is a Process in Jewish Tradition One of the core elements of Jewish mourning customs is the emphasis on burying the deceased as quickly as possible after death. The urgency of the burial also serves a practical purpose for the survivors: it allows the mourning process to begin, offering them a clear path to grieve and heal. By attending to the deceased’s needs without delay, mourners are afforded the time and space to mourn without the added burden of prolonged waiting. The Jewish mourning process is filled with rituals designed to help mourners express their grief, find support in the community, and eventually come to terms with their loss. From the speed of burial to the comforting presence of family and friends during shiva, these practices offer a sense of structure and peace during a time that can otherwise feel chaotic and unmanageable. The existence of these traditions reveals an important idea: while no one grieves the same way, nobody should grieve alone. Instead, it’s a process best navigated with your family and community – through events that bring people in to support us and traditions that allow us to look back at how others have sought solace. Rather than trying to “move past” the death of a loved one or “return to normal,” it accepts that these painful emotions are a part of life and provides a structured way to experience them. We’re Here to Help You Honor Your Traditions At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we honor these traditions and everyone’s personal approach to grief. We provide a supportive environment where families can grieve, heal, and find comfort according to their faith and customs. Whether you are seeking guidance on Jewish funeral arrangements and mortuary services or Grief Support Groups for help through the mourning process, we are here to provide compassionate care for you and your family at (310) 641-0707 and https://www.hillsidememorial.org/contact-us/ .
When someone close to us loses a loved one, it can feel overwhelming, both for them and for us. We often feel powerless to help, unsure of what to say or do in the face of such deep sadness. However, while grief can’t be “fixed,” there are practical steps we can take to be a compassionate and steady support system for those in mourning. Offering kindness, patience, and understanding in the days, weeks, and even months following a loss can make a difference. How to Support Loved Ones After a Loss In the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s passing, small but meaningful gestures can provide essential comfort. If you have a close relationship with the grieving person, consider visiting them in person, even if it’s just to sit quietly together. Sometimes, your presence alone is enough. Offering practical help, like preparing meals or leaving them for the family, are other thoughtful ways to lighten their load. When you offer condolences, simple ones are best: “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you” are sensitive and respectful. Avoid clichés such as “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason,” as these statements may unintentionally minimize their grief. Instead, validate their feelings by acknowledging their pain. Grief is complex, and people need time to process their emotions, so be patient, offer support without rushing them through their mourning. As time passes, it’s important to continue checking in on your loved one. Grief doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and the weeks or even months after the funeral can be especially difficult. Reaching out regularly shows that you’re still there, even after the initial outpouring of sympathy has faded. A simple text, a phone call, or an invitation to meet for coffee or a walk can help them feel less isolated. Sometimes, just offering to be a companion for everyday activities like going for a walk, running errands, or grabbing lunch can provide a comforting distraction and remind them they are not alone in their sorrow. Tell them you can listen, but don’t pressure them to talk if they’re not ready. It’s also helpful to acknowledge milestones, like the death anniversary or the deceased’s birthday, as these dates can bring up fresh waves of grief. How to Continue Supporting a Grieving Loved One Even months after the loss, your continued support remains vital. Many people feel abandoned in the long-term stages of grief as others move on with their lives. The healing journey is often a long and winding road, and your ongoing presence can offer much-needed reassurance. Check-in with your friend or family member regularly, and let them know you’re there, whether they want to share memories, sit in silence, or simply be around someone who understands. If you can, offer help with tasks that may feel overwhelming, such as helping them organize their home or helping them with financial paperwork related to their loss. Find Grief Support Resources at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand the emotional weight of loss, so we are committed to offering both services for those experiencing grief and educational resources to the Los Angeles community. We are here not only to help with funeral and memorial services but also to provide guidance on navigating the complexities of grief. Our compassionate team offers support through every step of the mourning process, ensuring that no one has to grieve alone. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, our team at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is here to help. Contact us today for compassionate support and resources at (310) 641-0707 or https://www.hillsidememorial.org/contact-us/ .
As a time of celebration with family, the loss of someone dear can feel especially painful during the High Holidays. However, this time of year also presents an opportunity to honor and reflect on those we miss. Read on to discover ways to remember our loved ones and feel close to them during the High Holidays. Visit Their Resting Place One of the best ways to feel connected to our loved ones is to spend time with them in person. Many families visit the cemetery either the day before Rosh Hashashanah or Yom Kippur. Small acts like bringing flowers, taking a moment of silence, or talking to them can help make us feel close to those who have passed on. Taking time to connect with our memories of our loved ones also brings us into the traditions of memory and reflection at the center of the High Holidays. Share Memories Connecting with family through shared memories is one of the best ways to honor your loved ones’ legacy. Telling stories and getting out photo albums are some of the best ways to recall happy times together and draw your family close. This kind of communal storytelling honors lives well-lived and preserves their memory for future generations. Continue Their Favorite Traditions In addition to telling stories, continuing to celebrate family holiday traditions can help preserve your loved ones’ legacies. Cooking their favorite recipes, setting the table with their favorite dishes, singing their favorite songs, or continuing donations to causes they love are all great ways to honor their memories. Reach Out for New Ideas If you’re looking for ways to memorialize your loved one, we would be happy to help at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary. Our floral store can help you deliver fresh flowers to your loved ones’ final resting place, with a photo to confirm delivery. If you would like to carry out a personalized family ceremony, we would be happy to help facilitate it at the park or an offsite location to honor the life and memory of your family.
Charity. Lighting of Praying candles in a temple.
While anniversaries of a death are normally observed in private, the Yizkor service is a public observance for grieving families and their communities during the High Holidays. These vital ceremonies are one of the most important traditions that have always brought the bereaved together for mutual support and comfort in the Jewish community. What is a Yizkor Service? Yizkor services are deeply reflective and involve a series of readings and prayers, both recited and chanted, which call participants to remember the lives and legacies of those we have lost. To begin, individuals silently read specific paragraphs to honor and remember deceased loved ones, with sections dedicated to a father, mother, spouse, child, other relatives, friends, and Jewish martyrs. Afterward, the El Male Rahamim prayer, which is also recited at Jewish funerals, is chanted as a memorial for the deceased. Additionally, the Av HaRahamim prayer is spoken by the congregation in remembrance of all Jewish martyrs, and some include Psalm 23. Although traditionally the Mourner’s Kaddish is not part of Yizkor, many congregations incorporate it as the concluding prayer of the service. When are Yizkor Services Held? During the High Holidays, Yizkor services are held on three dates: Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret immediately following Sukkot, and on Simchat. Traditionally a time of reflection on the past year, the High Holidays are a fitting time to remember those who are no longer with us, and to surround ourselves with emotional support before the new year. Who Can Participate in a Yizkor Service? In some Jewish communities, those who have not experienced a loss in the past year choose to sit out the duration of the Yizkor service. While ceremonies are for the bereaved, many Rabbis ask the whole congregation to stay for the duration of the service to uplift those who are suffering. Ultimately, the decision to sit out or participate is yours. However, standing next to a mourner during the Mourner’s Kaddish, especially if they are alone, can be a powerful show of compassion. How to Add Names to the Yizkor book? To ensure that your loved ones are honored during Yizkor, many Temples ask members to provide a list of those to be remembered in the coming year when they join or renew their affiliation. If someone passes away during the year, their name is usually added automatically. It’s a good idea to confirm with the synagogue office to ensure important names are not missing from the list. While Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary has hosted Yizkor services on select occasions, like our recent Kever Avot Service which can viewed here , most local temples offer Yizkor services during the High Holidays. If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one, the quiet moments of remembrance and reflection during this vital tradition can provide a meaningful connection during this difficult time.